Learning about SF from other sources

Hi Readers,

Thank you for reading my blog, I hope you will find my personal experience useful in the pursuit of your own solutions. Futher down at the bottom of the page, I have added some useful links to add this new found healing tool some very good professional references.

For those of you whom I have inspired to know more of SFBT, here are some theoretical discourses ( the "Chim" Stuffs ) behind the foundational principles of how Solutions Focused Brief Therapy have evolved since 1978. That's when both of them started the Brief Family Therapy Centre in Milwaukee, along with three others.

It was first pioneered by Steve de Shazer ( Sept 2005) & Insoo Kim Berg ( Jan 2007) who have since recently have both passed on. And have left behind their great legacies for others to emulate. Solution Building Model is truly Limitless in it's Life applications.

While the SF Basics may be easy to grasp, but it takes considerable efforts to adopt as an unconscious skill in our day to day dealings with our family, relatives, colleagues, bosses or people who just simple need to agitate others to feel good about themselves.

Like an infant who is trying to learn how to walk or the kid who is struggling to keep balance on a bicycle, we will probably fall quite a lot in order to be able to " walk " or " cycle " I have, a couple of times already, realising that no doubt we already knew the basics, yet sometimes slipped back to old habits.

Human emotions when uncontrolled ( let Lose ), can run wild. Sometimes we are shocked to learn that Such-and-Such person who is normally very polite & quiet can turn into a monster, who can inflick injury to the people that cared for him / her.

To change " whatever ____ " we must first be a " customer " for change, meaning how strong is your " Intent to change " ( How bad do you want to learn to walk, to that table to get to the cookie jar ) Practise, practise, practise & practise.

One trick I learned recently is to quickly predict in flash of my mind, what is the likely outcome of my actions / words with whoever. If you don't like what you see, better try to do something different. (I called it my "SF Echo" ).

Well, there is a constant nightly struggle I have with my son, every evening he would want be to tuck him in bed & to kiss him goodnight. He don't care what I am doing at that moment, whether I am replying an email or searching for resources. As soon as he decides he is going to bed, it's my duty as his Daddy to do it.

So I end up reluctantly followed him to his room, while my mind was half way across the world. He would jot my attention back to Earth by hitting me. Sometimes we would end up wrestling each other, me being larger built would hold him down. He can only moved his fingers, move he did, he will inflicked deep clawing marks sinking into my forearm or bite me, in order for me to let go of him.

I told him that I don't enjoy being scratched & bitten like that, if he continue like this, I will be afraid to tuck him to bed at night. I'm happy to say that is moving along smoothly, bit by bit. Already they is no deep scratches or teeth bites on my arms ( which used to be a daily affair ) & less temper flares shooting across the room.

If all parents can be equipped with SF skills set, the whole will definitely a better home for all of us. Why didn't I come across this wonderful discovery sooner. This is definitely one of the world's best kept secret in dealing with people.